George Carter
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Last Night In An Old Home

| Thursday 11th April, 2024

I’m lying in bed (on a mattress on the floor) in the house I’ve lived in for over nineteen years, and tomorrow I’ll leave for good

My mean house occupancy in the eleven houses I’ve lived in before this one has been 2.59 years, with the longest spell being eight.

So it’s been strange that I’ve stayed so long. And strange that I pretty much haven’t changed anything, even decoration has been more touching up than radical change.

But it’s time to move on with life. It’s life circumstances that have “forced” the move, but interestingly, it looks like next doors is going to be up for rent very soon. I thought about contacting the landlord to see if it would be available, but then I realised… I don’t want to live around here any more.

It’s a strange feeling of loss and grief for my familiar surroundings and also for the marriage that’s ending, bringing about these changes. But with that sense of loss and grief and melancholy comes an amazing hope and faith in a new beginning, a bright future, a new chapter to explore.

I can’t make my soon-to-be-ex wife bad or wrong. She is a wonderful woman. It’s just that maybe we should have kept out ten-year friendship on that level those sixteen years ago when we got together, instead of taking it further.

But I also have no regrets. Everything we do is valid and required to teach us the lessons we need to learn, and to resist what “is” would be foolish.

So I leave here with mixed emotions, the excitement and uncertainty promising to keep me awake, and the utter exhaustion of packing up nineteen years of “stuff” offering to send me to sleep. (I am so pleased I went extreme minimalist a few years back, there’s actually very little of my own stuff to pack!)

Onward to the next chapter…

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