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Saw a fascinating podcast today with Mark Manson and Matt Dahlia.
It really got me thinking about how much I’m sharing with the world, whether I should(*) film my climbing (it being a hobby, does filming ruin it?) and whether I want to share my daily journal on The Life Explorer, and what I want to share in it if I do.
(*should is always a trap)
Tomorrow I’m going on a roped wall. The plan is to help me trust other people, which is one of my big problems. I started climbing because I thought I was scared of heights. I am to some extent, but it also became clear that I’m scared of people. (That happens when you’ve been hung out of a window by the ankles as a toddler).
I was going to do the whole story-telling thing… do an intro video on my way over, and film the experience.
But you know what? It’s not for my ‘audience’. This experience is for me. And Matt’s interview today really made me realise that a boundary needs to be drawn between “for me” and “for them”.
Though the fact I’m writing this blog means I have done it for “them”, ie. you, the reader. Though the audience here is approximately zero, so maybe I don’t feel like I’m having to perform in any way.
(Performance is another thing… I ‘performed’ for forty-eight years of my life, never being allowed to be me. How does that relate to musical performance? Or writing a public journal? Or a book? Or any other creative endeavour? Not sure yet… watch this space.)
Tags: Climbing, CPTSD, Creativity, Musings
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